Flag day is always a sort of contemplative day for me - but perhaps not for the reasons that you would think. Yes, I would characterize myself as patriotic, but Flag Day is just one day before my birthday - and this year especially marks the occasion when I join the quarter-century club. 25 years of 'pura vida' ("nothin' but life") on this planet, having been places and done things I couldn't possibly have dreamed up, and living in a place I once swore to avoid like the plague."The life of every man is a diary in which he means to write one story, and writes another; and his humblest hour is when he compares the volume as it is with what he vowed to make it." - James M. Barrie, The Little Minister, 1891
I guess with most people out there, if you asked them (at age 15 or so) to imagine where they would be and what they would be doing at age 25, only a few would probably have the imagination to actually see that far ahead, and even most of them would probably be surprised out of their minds to actually "see into the future" and do a reality check. I think that would have been me, 10 years ago. So very much has transpired in my life that I'm left without words to describe it.
Tongue in cheek, I think I imagined myself as being much wiser! There are a few areas where I think I imagined myself doing better than I have - but I don't want this to seem as though every birthday-eve is one where I catalog my lifetime regrets. On the contrary - ... 'regret' is a word that I would recommend using only temporarily. Personally, I don't think saying "no regrets" is tantamount to saying that you've had a perfect performance up to the present. For me, it's more a recognition that you've lived and learned from life experiences along the way. Perhaps without making some mistakes, you couldn't have possibly gotten to the point where you find yourself. To be sure, I've made plenty of mistakes - but living with regret would only rob you of the value of each 'hard lesson' you've learned. So - as I turn 25, I say (with the above explanation in mind) that I have no regrets - but I've got a LONG list of ways I believe I can improve!
One of my professors, who taught us a great deal about family finance had an interesting way of putting things to us as a class. "N is a terrible thing to waste" he would tell us. 'N' being the variable in financial equations that represents 'time'. This, of course, was to be understood two ways. 1) Having time on your side when planning investments is a DEFINITE advantage. 2) You don't get to save it up, you can't horde it, you can't retrieve it - all of us get the same amount of it every day, and you have no way of knowing for sure how much 'N' you have left - so don't waste it! Even after being admonished thusly, some days I can't help but think of the words of James Barrie, quoted at the top here.
Another thing that has been at the forefront of my mind is that I have retained my slightly-unrealistically-optimistic outlook on life. I don't have to dig very deep to find that I truly believe that tomorrow will be better than today. To those who are of like mind, no explanation is required - but to those who have more pessimistic tendencies, perhaps no amount of explanation would suffice. Perhaps the reason why this sticks out to me is that of late my life has had it's share of 'bad news' days - days when my optimistic outlook was blurred by tears. Yeah, I know I've got it pretty good all things considering (living in the US, I have a job, I'm attending a good college, I generally know what I want to do with my life, I have a solid family and true friends) - but even the most blessed person you know is not immune to the pains, disappointments, and vicissitudes of life. Fortunately for all of us, most especially the younger generations, we get a chance to re-apply what we've learned in the coming decades of our life. I consider myself fortunate because I have learned a very great deal thus far. 25 years is only a beginning, and I certainly hope I am around to infect others with a contagious optimism when I'm 50, perhaps even 100!
Go ahead, if you like, and tease me about 'getting older' - you won't see the smile disappear into a grimace of dread. If I don't quip something witty in return, you can rest assured I'll silently reply "You ain't seen nothin' yet!"
1 comment:
Son, you've shared some pretty profound insights in this post. Lately my life has had a far greater share of challenges, specifically the double knee surgery and resultant hurdles. I wish I could have skipped several of the days, gone into some kind of sleep and waked up when all was well. But there are lessons to be learned and compassion is one right there at the top.
I'm proud of you for keeping an upbeat attitude and sticking in the game, continuing to help others. Hope the next quarter century brings some truly extraordinarily wonderful things into your life.
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